Value, Devalue, Repeat.

I remember…or at least I try to bring moments on my mind. Moments that construct my life if put together. Memories. Tears and laughs. But they are two very general categories aren’t they? Confusion. Worries. Stress. Randomness. Happiness…however it might be just extremely optimistic to consider myself having experienced happiness. What is happiness? Is it just a blank on your mind, a state where you just have nothing to think or worry about? Is it all about reaching this state where there’s nothing else…where you just exist? Or is happiness derived from achievements? Isn’t it materialistic to consider yourself happy just from receiving stuff? Isn’t it selfish to do things just because you have the need of feeling that you make people happy?
So, back to the “nothing” option…Let us leave the “something” and focus on the “nothing”, besides we always do that, don’t we?
I observe, I consider, I feel…
I am bringing on my mind things that matter in my life or in the life of others and I analyze pictures and a wide variety of stimuli derived from my environment. I give solutions to problems and I set goals…I even have expectations. But in the frame of a sort of thinking, I understand that I’m building skyscrapers of thoughts, ideas as well as feelings about a gap that I confront, a nothing that intrigues me to explore it, a blank canvas seeking to be used, to be filled with colour and my sketches.
Maybe nothing has a greater value than something, since this something has been completed mentally in contrast to the infinite and unknown nothing that sets its light on my way forming shadows on the present that I live in. And while my worries should have been aiming on the full development of “now”, they all end up unfolding around nothing, the unknown of tomorrow. But that’s how it goes! We lean on today and we worry about tomorrow, forgetting or better, without realising of course that every millisecond that passes automatically belongs to the past, whereas every millisecond that comes is a part of the near future. Besides, let’s not forget that the indirect future before becoming direct, has no value…no meaning…it’s nothing…a balloon full of dreams and goals, expectations and fears. However, this balloon turns our life upside down as we try to catch it. But to be fair, how sure are we that we will be able or simpler…alive to catch it when time comes?

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