Creating a chaos…

And I find myself in a hall where you are asked to stay still and represent an emotion to entertain massive mοpets that will kill you if they realize that you are alive…and under this pressure I burst into tears and the more I’m trying to affect them, the less I succeed. These mοpets are 6 ft tall and vintage victorian dresses cover their slim figures…I can’t control myself…I can’t stop crying and the breeze from the broken window next to me blows my tears to them…as I start to realise that I’m failing…I start to run for them not to kill me..but I slip and fall and as I look outside the window I see the sky turning dark and the storm coming. That makes me wake up…

What happened afterwards though? Did they manage to find me and kill me? Would it be better to have been dead?…Would that release my mind and soul from all the worries that drag to the bottom of this ocean of opportunities, expectations, plans, dreams, whilst I’m stretching my arms to reach the surface and lead myself to take a breath?…Is this me going insane? Are these the first steps of schizofrenia? And if yes, what about the star this medium found on my astrological map…was that what it meant? Committing suicide at a rather young age due to the worries drowning me?…Isn’t that a sign of cowardice though? I have to believe in myself…I have to find the courage to stand on my feet and face this chaos that I create with my mind…

Despite my desire to escape…I have to man up, slap myself and sort everything out! Just because I can! Pen, paper…plan! Everything is going to be alright! As every time…

2 thoughts on “Creating a chaos…

Leave a Reply to stefykat Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s