I often find myself wondering what do I exactly want. If one is hungry, one can find a way to get food, if one craves chocolate, one can go buy chocolate but why when desires go to the category “relationships”, things get complicated? One told me once that when you want something you have to ask for it, since that is how you get what you want. We tend to create high standards and struggle until we find something or someone that can match them completely. What follows then is us getting depressed because it takes time to find this, so we either lower the standards and “enjoy life” as some say or we just stay forever alone.
If relationships were pieces of chocolate, one would possibly buy the most expensive one to find quality. But then is price always representative of quality? Do we always have to aim for the best image or the best cover to find the content we strive for or do we have to put ourselves to try different kinds so that we can explore ourselves and eventually set the standards? Maybe relationships are like pieces of chocolate at the end of the day…maybe you have to give chances sometimes and see how things work.
On the other hand though, if we picture love as a form of unwritten contract were male figures are promissors sending us invitations to treat, then the whole spirit of “love” and the essence of romance is lost. People become nothing but tenders or even numbers…items with price tags…chocolates on a shelf and we just have to go shopping or start checking advertisements to find what we are looking for. Even so though, by this way we are willing to accept the fact that we might have an allergic reaction to the chocolate we bought just because we didn’t read the ingredients or just because we had never tried the certain type before and we weren’t aware of the effects that it might have on our organism.
Relationships whether they are a form of contract or a pink box full of rose petals and romance, can be made complicated by tearing the lovely wrapping paper of the box too quickly or simply by tasting the chocolate after its expiry date (bad timing). Maybe shopping isn’t that easy at the end of the day but why are people programmed to do that with confidence and when it comes to dealing with invitations to treat other people, we skip the most important part which is the battle of forms? Perhaps because people these days have a fixed price and thus, the advertisements you get for them are not invitations to treat rather offers and thus, there is no space for a manoeuvre, no negotiations, you either take it or leave it. And even law finds contracts complicated enough, imagine with relationships where the chocolate actually has a word on the whole procedure and its word is more important than the promissee’s. Imagine walking in a supermarket and having to talk to the products before you buy something…get to know them to see if you would actually consume them or not and investigate whether they would like to be consumed by you. This is just so…f***ed up…But hey…this is a representation of what we have to deal with…or maybe a slightly exaggerated parallelism of it.