Quarantine | The Lockdown Version | Day #20

Realising that the only way to track your days is a kind of diary you created but failed to keep always feels like a nice tap on the shoulder. The voice that addresses the matter after the tap usually says “Well done dear. This quarantine has blurred out your sense of time by spreading coffee all over the dates”. You usually respond to that voice by actually pouring yourself another cup of coffee. Is it the fifth cup today? Oh well. Who’s counting right?

It is interesting how the fear over a virus can create yet another virus. The fear over the covid-19 was the reason why we are on a lockdown. But fear spreads like a virus as well and the over-use of social media during “the covid-19 times” is actually promoting the virality of fear, as Jason Silva referred to it. And so, we lie on our couches with the same cup that we have been refilling since the time we woke up, embodying the fear that is being projected to us through memes. It has actually even shaped the way we communicate with each other. We no longer text “how are you?”. Our texts are now sprinkled with a pinch of cynisism and two of sarcasm and we…or rather I…start a conversation saying “Hey! Are you alive?” or “Where are you? Home? How come?”. The virus is a threat that can only be addressed by health professionals and legislators. The only thing we can do is to wash our hands and stay home. So, if there is nothing else we can control, why are we allowing our personalities to be defined by a couple of months that we spent on a quarantine? Why are we reaching out to people that we haven’t spoken to in months? Have we already lost hope that there will be an “after the quarantine” era? None of the updates on the measures regarding the virus could be used to explain this global “surrender” towards what we cannot control. The only thing infecting us is the fear virus.

At a time of crisis the global economy strives to shift accordingly to accommodate the new demands of the people in crisis. When it comes to the press (even if it is digital), every article seems to be shaping the persona that you are expected to portray during this time of fear. The reason for that is that words like the “corona virus” or “covid-19” have actually become the most searched keywords on search engines. As a result, most digital content strives to include those keywords whilst responding to possible questions raised in relation to them or whilst providing you with all the things you can do to keep your mind of the virus… #coronavirus #lockdown #stayhome. And that makes it difficult for you to not doubt your calmness. That actually urges you to delve in the bag of shit that you have stored in your mind over the years in search for that one thing that could put you off balance. Because you have to be off balance, right? I mean the whole world is freaking out and there are so many new hobbies that you should be trying out because you are home and you need to save yourself from freaking out. Doesn’t this feel like a big vicious circle?

Stop for a minute. Take a deep breath. Think about the facts. There is a pandemic and people are dying due to it. It is not the first pandemic the world has experienced. And the technologies that we have now place us in a much better situation than ever before. The only thing you can do is stay home and wash your hands. The rest is being taken care of by healthcare professionals, regulators and legislators. You may have had to experience a change in your career status due to the pandemic. But what would you do if there was no pandemic? Would you be letting go off all the control you have in your life, freaking out about the fact that you may die yet acting as if you are dying? You shouldn’t. Some countries are already considering the date they will stop the lockdown. Have you even thought about what you will do after the quarantine? Have you even managed to make the most of your time at home to address the things out of your bag of shit that you could easily resolve? Why are you allowing yourself to live in this numbness? Why are you allowing yourself to match the persona of the miserable person that cannot move because they are on a lockdown as advertised by most of the content that is available to you? At least if you are going to do that, don’t waste your energy stressing over something you cannot control.

The truth is that you are actively trying to fill the gap of all the stress that you were experiencing before the lockdown. Now that the stress is gone you feel exposed and think that your life has no meaning. You are even exploring the idea of changing your career because you feel that you should be doing something more fulfilling – even if you actually like your profession. Why does any “end-related” fear make us explore any residue we may have? Why do we actively try to design possible regrets, even if we don’t have any residue? Why are we abusing the creativity of our minds to sketch out all the reasons why we should not be happy? Why are we not simply designing the person we want to become and coming up with ways to become that person? Why can we not escape from this fetish we have acquired throughout our lives over struggle and suffering? If it contributes to your artistic expression and creativity, be my guest. Yet if it simply keeps you numb,..then you should probably do something about it.


featured image: Unsplash | Shttefan | @shttefan

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