Sudden Doubt

I am trying to erase
every detail of your face
’cause it is stuck on my mind
and it is aiming to replace

all that I held as home
all that I kept as my own
my chosen sense of love
the face I chose as my one

I am failing to stop it
at times I feel I want it
and there is nothing to stop me
from letting you have me

It is getting even harder
because it makes me wonder
why I used to feel complete
as a solo flaneur on the street

Its power is overwhelming
cancelling the joy I was gaining
when starring at the moon
capable of tackling any monsoon.

I wasn’t looking at my side with sorrow
There was no gap in the path I follow
I wouldn’t project your eyes in “good mornings”
I wouldn’t plan when to have my coffees

I cannot but call you trouble
The conflict you’re causing me is double
Have I been avoiding love to meet you?
Can I only be complete as a part of two?

What now? Would you even have me?
That hug there, was it a claim towards me?
Was that offer to disappear just a thing to say?
When you pull me near…is it just to stop my breath?

I obsessively go through every word
I remember your look, your smile, every move
and damn! I want to reach out and touch you
constantly. always. to be grabbed by you.

And yes. Let’s get in a car and go
I don’t care where – don’t even need my phone
I cannot think of a call I would return when with you
I cannot think of a worry I’ld pack if I were near you

Damn you. I was fine
Damn. I want you to be mine.
Damn. I want one more hug
and I promise to not look further than that.



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